The Election is over. Can we finally say goodbye to the Crazies?

Alf Landon - "What me Worry?" lost in 36

 If you supported President Obama you can breathe a sigh of relief.  If you supported Mr. Romney well…… I want you to climb down off from that chair.

That’s good, take the noose off first if you please.  Republicans - I understand how you feel – anger, denial, depression.  In 2004 - Bush over Kerry.  I was crushed.  You have my sympathies.  Took me a long time to get over that.  

Some guy named Al that lost in 1926

Now that the election is over there are some big things that I would like to see happen.  We all know that the debt has to be addressed.  Entitlements and Taxes have to be on the table.  Like the Grand Compromise that Obama and Boehner worked on during the last debt ceiling debate before it fell apart.

John.....................Marsha

But before I get too far ahead of myself on the future I want to address the tone going forward.  I have to blow off some steam.  It has been building for some time now.

                 The Crazies – I have had it with them – I would like them to go away – forever.

At least you now know who she is

People like Victoria Jackson, Ted Nugent, Chuck Norris and Donald Trump.  Last night these completely unhinged lunatics lost their minds on twitter.  

“I can't stop crying. America died.” – Victoria Jackson, former SNL cast member to which she followed up with “The Democrat Party voted God out and replaced Him with Romans 1. In the Good vs. Evil battle...today...Evil won.”

America died?????  Victoria no stranger to hyperbole should get this.  You weren't funny on SNL and you should go away.

Cat Scratch Shit for Brains

Ted Nugent no slouch to crazy piped in with “Pimps whores & welfare brats & their soulless supporters hav a president to destroy America ”

Donald Trump fired what I hope would be the last of his non-lucid rants

NBC News anchor Brian Williams commented on Trumps’ tweets. “Donald Trump has driven well past the last exit to relevance and veered into something closer to irresponsible.”

Couldn't have said it better myself Brian.

But I saved the pièce de résistance for the craziest of crazies.

 Chuck Norris jumps the shark while going full tilt bonkers in a bat shit crazy mode post in a YouTube video.  He hangs on for dear life to his daughter wife where they issue a dire warning to America, claiming that U.S. citizens face "1,000 years of darkness" if President Obama is reelected for a second term in November. 

My toupee must have eaten into my brain

Serious Chuck????  A 1000 years of darkness!!  Like Hitler’s German Reich that was supposed to last 1000 years but came up 988 years short?. What the fuck are you talking about????   Have you ever seen Mel Gibson and Chuck Norris in the same room?  Me neither.

None of us look like Leonardo

 Please…I am hoping that finally America has gotten that stuff out of its system – no more dark ages, socialist, birther, Muslim, taking my gun away  kind of stuff.  Now of course there are crazies on the left.  But they generally threaten to leave the country if their candidate loses (I'm talking to you Alex Baldwin).  Of course no one is leaving.  Unless you are Leonardo DiCaprio and you go to France monthly with some new hot girlfriend.  Leaving the country is different than telling the rest of us that we are soulless blood sucking leaches on the ass of humanity and that America is dead.  
Why don't they ever threaten to leave?

I know most of you don’t want to hear this but we just elected a moderate president – that’s right.  The Marxist Socialist is a Blue Dog Democrat. 

Even worse in an article on Slate.com  

“Cheer Up, Republicans.  You’re going to have a moderate Republican president for the next four years: Barack Obama.”

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/frame_game/2012/11/obama_the_moderate_republican_what_the_2012_election_should_teach_the_gop.html

Me - I lost in 1940 to FDR

I am currently reading Bob Woodward’s “The Price of Politics”.  I am not finished yet and there is another blog coming about the book but it is surprising to see how Obama is portrayed.  Far more centrist and conservative than anyone would have guessed.  Again reinforced in the in the Slate article referenced above “in last year’s debt-ceiling talks, Obama offered cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid in exchange for revenue that didn’t even come from higher tax rates. Now he’s proposing to lower corporate tax rates, and Republicans are whining that he hacked $716 billion out of Medicare. Some socialist.”

So Republicans pull up that chair you were standing on a few minutes ago and let’s see if we can’t channel the ghosts of Tip O’Neill and the Gipper and get something done.  And while we are at it, let’s turn our back on the loons.

I lost in 72 but somehow my campaign melded with the Brady Bunch and "My Little Ponies"

Thanks

Me and Sarah Silverman have a great idea to help spend Sheldon Alderson's money!

Romney will cut the top tax rates saving CEO Alderson $1.5 million

Sheldon Adelson, a billionaire twenty four times over, is willing to spend up to 100 million dollars to defeat President Obama. Adelson has said he will do “whatever it takes”.

Adelson is taking advantage of his ability to contribute an unlimited amount of money to so-called "super PACs (Political Action Committees).

The proliferation of Super PACS has campaign finance reformer John McCain spinning in his grave. 

Do you know what babysitters are getting per hour these days?

I am of course not referring to septuagenarian John McCain, 2008 presidential candidate and foster parent to Sara Palin but rather Maverick John McCain senator of Arizona who rode off into the sunset some time ago. 

Maverick John McCain championed legislation on campaign finance.  The Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act (BCRA) of 2002, also known as "McCain-Feingold" prohibited unregulated contributions (commonly referred to as "soft money") to national political parties.  Earlier legislation like the Federal Election Campaign Act (FECA) of 1972 attempted to restrict the influence of wealthy individuals by limiting individual donations to $1,000 and donations by PACs) to $5,000. These specific election donations are known as ‘hard money.’

Not that shitty Mel Gibson Maverick

This all changed when the Supreme Court ruled in Citizens United v. FEC.  It drastically changed the landscape of political contributions and has allowed uber-rich individuals to contribute unprecedented amounts of money. Sheldon Adelson and the Koch brothers have pledged to spend up to $400 million to advance their agenda and defeat President Obama.

Sheldon Adelson has spent more money than any other American to defeat President Obama.

But I have an idea – I am offering to help Sheldon spend his money.  Just like Ben Stein.

I mean you just don’t go tossing 100 million dollars around.  We tried that in Afghanistan and Iraq and look how that turned out? 

Won't fit on a milk carton

Presidential elections results swing on as little as 537 senior citizen hanging chads.  Those 25 electoral votes gave W a narrow 5 vote Electoral College victory.  Other elections were not as closely contested as in 2008 when Obama won North Carolina’s 15 electoral votes by 13,692 votes.  Or W over Kerry in New Mexico where there are no PT boats by 5,988.  

You think I would have any problem taking Sheldon’s $100 million and dividing it between 538 independents who would be willing to move to Florida and vote for Romney?  Each relocated voter would get $186,219.74.   

Well actually they would only get $186,000.  I need to wet my beak if you catch my drift.

I will recruit independents who agree to vote for Alderson's Romney and move them to any state that would make a difference to the election. 

You could have had a Chuck instead of a Woody

Just look at the 1916 presidential election.  By a margin of 56 votes in New Hampshire and 3773 in California Woodrow Wilson (D) beat Charles Hughes to become our 28^th president.  Sheldon cost per vote in 1916 was $26,116.  I think I can find 3773 people who will take 26 thousand dollars to move to California.  It might cost a little more to get them to move to New Hampshire.  Hey I’m just saying.  I am being frank here.  I live in Buffalo.  I know how the game works.   Sheldon would only have required $ 4,732,000 in 1916 dollars to pull it off.  Awesome!

During the 1960 Kennedy – Nixon election I would only have needed 28,524 voters to change the outcome.  Sheldon’s cost per vote requiring a little more haranguing but for $3505 per vote we could have gotten Tricky Dick a full 12 years earlier.

Now Sheldon you can stop reading here.  You need to recover the $16.5 million you gave Newt Gingrich during the Republican primary.  

Now that Sheldon is out of the room I am going to let you in on a little secret.  Me and my new 538 friends will move, but we’ll vote for who we want to.  We will just have one hell of a party.  I am just pointing out the obvious since the Supreme Court ruling.  We have opened ourselves up to the possibility of an individual or small group of individuals with an "endless" supply of money influencing our electoral process.

Now I only want to give Sheldon the election Sarah Silverman wants to give him an erection.

Thanks Sarah - you rock

Sarah has made an indecent proposal to Adelson: give the same amount to Obama instead and she will engage in "traditional lesbian sex" with the 78-year old.

Do you how many Republican billionaires are giving money to Romney?  Silverman asked in the following video.  All of them.  How many of them are getting scissored by a bikini-bottomed Jewess with big naturals? How many, Sheldon?

http://scissorsheldon.com/

Visit the link above to learn more about Sarah's brave offer. 

If only the TV series Mad Men wasn't true

My shortest blog to date.  Frank Rich wrote a great article in the New York Magazine on the perceived decline of America. Click on the link below to read it.

http://nymag.com/news/frank-rich/declining-america-2012-7/?mid=nymag_press

my take is that it was never as good as they would like us to believe.

I have been bothered for some time of this great fictional love affair people have with the good old days.  They may have been for a few select groups but for the majority of people life in America wasn't what it was purported to be.

I am not by any means claiming it was better somewhere else (it probably was if you were black or Jewish or a woman).  It just wasn't the idyllic world painted by Hollywood or Madison Avenue.
Read Upton Sinclair's book "The Jungle".  In the more recent past - how about the Martin Luther King led civil right marches of the mid-60's.  Smack dab in the middle of the 8 year run of the Andy Griffith show American citizens were being sprayed with fire hoses and had police dogs let loose on them.

But enough about what I have to say - Frank Rich's article is much better than mine.  His focus is on the perception and he doesn't even have to point out the obvious like I feel compelled to.

“Our CEO is sorry, is yours?”

The commercial begins with the male voice asking the audience.  

The voice is trustworthy, warm and worldly.  You have heard his voice in the past for companies like Bear Stearns, Countrywide, Merrill Lynch and Lehman Brother.  The voice can think for you.

My bad

The voice continues “If your CEO isn’t apologizing or manufacturing some dimly understood falsely embraced grieving yet somehow injured response maybe you’re not getting all you can from your bank.”

Chase’s CEO – he’s sorry.  JPMorgan Chase and Co, the US’ biggest bank, racked up losses that could total 5 billion dollars in risky trading.

“We made a terrible, egregious mistake and there’s almost no excuse for it,” Chase CEO Mr. Dimon said, adding that the bank was “sloppy” and “stupid.”

Sloppy and stupid yes
just don't rub my nose in it

Barclay’s CEO – he’s sorry too. Barclays Bank a British multinational banking and financial services company was fined a total of $450 million for attempting to manipulate the daily settings of key short-term interest rates.

Barclay’s CEO Robert Diamond has since apologized for the interest-rate manipulation scandal that has engulfed the U.K. bank.

Mr. Diamond, Barclays CEO said he was "sorry" and "I am disappointed because many of these behaviors happened on my watch. It is my responsibility to make sure that it cannot happen again.”

There you go – for 5 billion dollars you get a sorry.

Now are you getting that from your bank?

Commercial ends - Fade to Black

"Sorry, wrong finger"

 Chase’s Jamie Dimon told the Senate Banking Committee on Wednesday that he had been “dead wrong” to dismiss early news reports of his bank’s reckless trading and that he was “sorry” for the resulting losses, variously estimated at $2 billion to $5 billion, and counting. He even ventured that too-big-to-fail banks have “negatives,” including “you know, greed, arrogance, hubris, lack of attention to detail.”

You know……..

In another story Barclay's Dimon was admitting that the bank felt "terrible" for having lost some of its shareholders' money.

Barclay’s Diamond resigned soon afterwards and said he "loved" Barclays and had resigned to protect its reputation. "I'm sorry, disappointed and angry."

Phew….now we can add terrible, disappointed and angry to the list.

I am sorry, disappointed and angry but I am also unemployed and filthy  rich

  

All while in the same breath the injured CEO’s cry out they do not need any financial regulation.  Trust us!  We know what we are doing they say.

Jamie Dimon of Chase had the hubris to point out that the timing of the loss was a gift for advocates of more stringent regulation.  How can someone refer to a 5 billion dollar loss as a gift?

There are those who point out that only stockholders lost money or argue in a free-market system, banks are free to take risks, which result in successes or failures, profits or losses. 

Except for the fact that old bailout thing.  

Here’s a take from Paul Krugman of the NY Times

Here’s what the presumptive Republican presidential nominee said about JPMorgan’s $2 billion loss (which may actually have been $3 billion, or $5 billion, or more, but who’s counting?): “This was a loss to shareholders and owners of JPMorgan and that’s the way America works. Some people experienced a loss in this case because of a bad decision. By the way, there was someone who made a gain.”

What’s wrong with this statement? Well, suppose that someone — say, Jimmy Stewart in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” — runs a bank that takes in deposits and invests the money in various ways. And suppose that one of those investments is a risky bet on some complex financial instrument, with Mr. Potter, the evil plutocrat, on the other side.

If Jimmy Stewart’s bet pays off, we’re in Romneyworld: he’s made money, Mr. Potter has lost money, and that’s that. But suppose Jimmy Stewart loses his bet. If the bet was big enough, he no longer has enough assets to pay off his depositors. His bank collapses, probably in a chaotic bank run that takes down the whole town’s economy as collateral damage. Mr. Potter makes money on the deal, but so what?

The point is that it’s not O.K. for banks to take the kinds of risks that are acceptable for individuals, because when banks take on too much risk they put the whole economy in jeopardy — unless they can count on being bailed out. And the prospect of such bailouts, of course, only strengthens the case that banks shouldn’t be allowed to run wild, since they are in effect gambling with taxpayers’ money.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/21/opinion/dimons-deja-vu-debacle.html

In January of 2010 I cut a story out of the financial section of our daily paper and placed in a picture frame.  It hangs on my wall.

 The story headline was “Bankers say they are sorry”.

The bankers were from companies who collectively received more than $100 billion in taxpayer assistance to weather the crisis and they offered no regrets for executive pay that is now likely to increase as a result of their survival.

Like most of you in 2008 my retirement fund, which I had nurtured through a lot a crap in my life, lost half of its value

It has never really recovered but that is a story for another day and at least….

My CEO is sorry.

Steal a little and they throw you in jail

Steal a lot and they make you king – Bob Dylan